![]() It’s the, “Why is Jimmy getting more ice time than Johnny?” Or, “Why is Suzy’s line starting on the power play?” It’s no different than the typical workplace jealousy: It spirals into paranoia. Comparing kids creates strained relationships between youth hockey parents, which often filters down to the kids themselves. ![]() This does nothing but create animosity, and is a terrible result of insecurity and jealousy which can have a damaging effect on kids. One of the worst things youth hockey parents do in minor hockey is compare their kid to others on their team. In the long run, it is better to play at levels that are ideal for the moment in time, while developing your skills and increasing your confidence. It’s no different than bringing up a rookie too soon to the NHL. Playing against the best players possible doesn’t necessarily make you a better player. It was an experience that opened my eyes and changed my life. If I hadn’t been cut and gone down to play A-level Bantam, I never would have played beyond minor hockey. I then received a full scholarship to play in the NCAA at Clarkson University and, after graduation, played four seasons of professional hockey in the ECHL, CHL, and in Europe. The next season I played Junior C hockey, followed by four seasons of Tier II Junior A. I had a great coach who played everyone and I was playing at a level that was perfect for my development at that time. ![]() Subsequently, I went down and played A-level Bantam and had the best year of my life. The turning point in my career came when I was 15 and was cut from the major Bantam AAA team (which at that time was the major junior draft year). I loved hockey-which is what kept me going-but I saw a lot of kids who were in similar situations as I was pack it in. I was always the smallest kid on the team, and always had coaches who were obsessed with winning. For the majority of that time, I sat stewing on the bench. Riding the Pineįrom Atom to minor Bantam (10 to 14 years old) I played AAA. Within a couple of years, everyone else catches up and then it might be someone else who emerges. Most of the kids who dominate at early ages are the bigger kids who are just physically stronger than everyone else. In fact, that 10-year-old prodigy may decide to quit playing hockey within three or four years. The child who dominates at the Atom (Squirt) level isn’t necessarily the kid who dominates in Bantam, Midget or Junior. The fact is, kids are going to develop at different stages. It’s the obsession with the letters in rec hockey. I hear it all the time: parents stressing because their kid got cut from the AAA team. The biggest misconception with youth hockey parents today is that if your kid isn’t playing AAA hockey, they’re going nowhere. Winning is not important when you’re 10 years old. I’m not where I am today because I won a 50-cent plastic medal at the Eganville Invitational in 1991. Twenty years later, I couldn’t tell you where the tournaments were even held, and all of the trophies and medals I received are long gone and forgotten. When I was 10 years old, we won a few tournaments. We’re talking about 10-year-old kids with developing bodies and minds. It’s not junior hockey, college hockey, or pro, where players are commodities. The fact is, every parent pays for their kid to play at the AAA level and the mandate is still development and fun. If you want to get equal playing time, go play house league.” I completely disagree with this. Some people say, “When you’re playing AAA hockey it’s about winning, and if a kid sits on the bench, they sit on the bench. The coach wants a championship and since it is the AAA level, he has decided that he will do whatever it takes to win. Not too long ago, I had the unenviable task of listening to one of the youth hockey parents tell me that their 10-year-old son has been crying himself to sleep for the past week because he has been getting two shifts a game, rotting on the bench. Development is More Important than Winning When things become crazy and stress levels escalate, youth hockey parents need to take a deep breath and repeat this three-letter word over and over again: F-U-N. Too often this cold, hard fact is forgotten and becomes lost amid a torrent of ego, politics and misdirection. When kids first develop an interest in hockey, it is purely for fun. When kids begin playing hockey, they don’t know the meaning of the word “salary.” They have no idea what a contract or an agent is, or why NHL players go from one team to another. The number-one goal in all youth sports is to have fun. Hockey, in its purest form, is recreation and nothing more. This previously published article has been updated. These 10 tips will help hockey moms & dads keep their sanity. Photo by cottonbro from Pexels Youth hockey parents must bear in mind that the sport is for fun, period.
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